Sharing my good days and bad days

Being happy…

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People’s minds are on Robin Williams this week… such a talented, funny man.

Yet that wasn’t enough to bring him joy… or peace… or comfort.

His death seems senseless, especially since he most likely had everything I had on my “things to make me happy” list:

fame… not likely
lots of money… state job – no
beauty… that’s not gonna happen
a home… eh, still working on that one

I don’t mean to downplay his death; my heart is aching over it. Yet I can’t help but think that he probably had everything money could buy, and it wasn’t nearly enough… for him.

We all have lists or ideas of things we want… things that will make our lives happier… or better, somehow.

I wanted to earn my bachelor’s degree – done.
I really wanted to obtain a master’s degree – done.
I wanted a better job – done (state job, but better).

But none of these really have the capacity to make me happy. Sure, I’m trying to save money to buy a home… a house, a mobile home, whatever – with a few acres to have a garden and some chickens…

I’m not looking for expensive, just something I can afford to fix up and call MY OWN – to share with my daughter and grandchildren (it’ll be theirs, too).

But last night I realized this isn’t going to automatically make everything perfect – there is no perfect (at least not of this world). There are plenty of problems associated with owning your own home – be it house, mobile home or tent.

Taxes, termites, thieves… all spell trouble.

Seriously, people really do have problems with bugs, spiders, termites or snakes; leaky roofs and basements, mold and mildew, a/c and heat interruptions, not to mention appliances… dishwashers, stoves, refrigerators, washers, dryers, hot water heater… the list goes on and on.

BUT… that’s ok. I’m not depending on it to make me happy, but I still want my own place. Something with hardwood (or faux hardwood) floors, insulated windows and attached clean, usable screens, a deck, porch, or patio – preferably where I can hang a swing and a few plants, a small garden spot, trees for the grandchildren to climb, and a few chickens pecking around the yard, giving us fresh eggs.

Luxuries… well, I certainly wouldn’t turn down a well or spring for water (and splashing), a fireplace, a nice view, and a jacuzzi tub.

And after adding up what I’ve paid in rent the past 10 years… it seems to be time to get serious about it. But this time I’m leaving it all in God’s hands, and asking HIM to use family, friends, co-workers, e-mail or my blogs – to show us where to move, trusting HIM to work out the finances, too.

HE can do this… I’m asking HIM because I want to be sure what happens is HIS will, not mine.

… and I know HE will answer my plea; I just don’t know how… yet.

So I’ll depend on GOD for joy, peace, love, contentment, patience… He’s never let me down.

God bless you, my friend!

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